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No Strings Attached

He started his letter with his cross-hairs on narcissism.  When he painted his collage of terrible stuff happening in ‘the last days’, Paul’s first stroke of the brush is this, “People will be lovers of self.” (II Tim. 3:1-2)

Narcissism. 

Narcissism is a cultural norm these days – like it apparently was ‘back when.’  “Me first.” “Look out for number one.” “It’s all about me.”

Of course, believers are not immune to the ‘all about me’ disease.  My Canadian friend, Lee Patmore reminded me that even some ‘Christian ministry’ can be thinly disguised Narcissism; attempted for self-promotion – maybe even self-salvation.

Yep.  Even evangelistic efforts!  ‘Salesperson for Christ!!’  My friend says, “You know who I am talking about: the smooth talking salesperson who pretends like he or she is your best friend.  But you soon learn otherwise.  He or she may pursue ‘friendship’ with you for weeks, even months, in order to set you up for the ‘sales pitch.’  But the moment it becomes obvious that you are ‘not buying,’ he or she drops you like a hot potato.”

T. S. Eliot said, “The greatest treason is to do the right thing for the wrong reason.”

Lee observes further; “I don’t believe it is possible to genuinely love people if our highest motive is to ‘sell them Jesus.’  True love is love without strings. Unconditional.  Genuine friendship and love do not stop when your ‘friend’ rejects your ‘sales pitch.’…The strange thing is that even when ‘selling Jesus’ is your top priority, few will buy your Jesus.  … because they perceive that you are more interested in ‘the sale’ than you are in them.  It’s all about you, not about them.  People are not stupid. And they can spot a ‘lover of self’ salesman.”  … that drops you if you don’t ‘buy’ and soon moves on to the next ‘conquest.’

Rather, real ‘kingdom’ is actually happening whenever we treat people with respect because we genuinely love – even if they never become Christ followers.  We do not love people as a means to an end.  We love people simply because God loves us – and them - and his love is “poured into our hearts through the Holy spirit.”(Rom. 5:5).  Repeat: this is kingdom work, even if the people we befriend and love never become Christ followers.  Because the kingdom of God has come among them, and his face is manifest.

This is all about Him.  It is not about us.  And He loved us long before we loved Him – unconditionally.  That is who God is.  And that is why and how He calls us to love.  No strings attached.

Lynn Anderson

Let me encourage you read the entire message “Love Without Strings” by Lee Patmore (a minister from Lloydminster, Alberta, Canada) posted here by permission.  I found it refreshingly convicting – and healing.  Click Here

Lynn,

This reminds of an excerpt from this a technical leadership book…

“... if you want to motivate people, either directly or by creating a helping environment, you must first convince them that you care about them, and the only sure way to convince them is by actually caring. People may be fooled about caring, but not for long. That’s why the second version of the Golden Rule says, “Love thy neighbor”, not “Pretend you love thy neighbor.“ Don’t fool yourself. If you don’t really care about the people whom you lead, you’ll never succeed as their leader.“

- Gerald M. Weinberg, “Becoming a Technical Leader, An Organic Problem-Solving Approach”

By Glenn on June 03 2009

There is an element of truth in this article. We can’t become salespeople who don’t really care about people. But the application is addressing the 10% part of the problem and missing the 90% part. The greater sin of selfishness is people NOT trying to reach out and make a difference in people. A very small percentage of Christians are actually putting much effort into evangelism. And Jesus did teach that if people are not interested, we neeed to move on. The extreme would be to drop them and not continue some relationship.

By Kevin on June 08 2009